I have completed my antibiotics, can finally breathe, and I am ready to get back to the gym! My game plan for today is to shower go to church (Mark has agreed to trying a non-Catholic church! This excites me), then off to the gym (all cardio today), then we are heading to Great Lakes Crossing to shop for anniversary gifts (can you believe its been a year).
On Friday I sat down with my Doc, Dr. Milo. After reviewing all my labs she made two suggestions: 1. Weight Watcher 2. The weight management program that the health system I work for has (i.e. bariatric surgery). WOW!! That was hard to hear. I am so fat that I should consider bariatric surgery. SO my choice is weight watcher. I found an office maybe three blocks from my house and I am going to sign up tomorrow! I tried it before and had some success, but at the time I really wasn't taking it seriously. Now I am serious!
Dr. Milo says that my goal should be 200lbs before I try to get pregnant. "big sigh" That seems so far away. After my conversation with her I went back to my office and sobbed for about 30 minutes. While sobbing I composed a horribly depressing e-mail and sent it to Mark. I told him how depressed I am and have been and that I know I have been pushing him away. I told him that I want to be happy and I don't want to hit the destruct button on our relationship.
He called me withing 5 minutes and was very worried. He told me how much he loves me for me. And that he just wants me to be happy and we will do whatever it takes to get there. It's nice to know he stands behind me 110%!
I can do it. I can do it. I can do it............
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